To Boldly Go
by nubbs2027
Summary: My first FF. Somewhat A/U starting after Judgement Day and Skynet's defeat. Our favorite cybornetic organism in the ST:TNG universe. What will Cam do without a mission or John. COMPLETE
1. Discovery

_I own nothing. All known characters are the property of Fox/WB and Paramount._

Chapter 1. Discovery

In the 24th century.......

Cadet Wesley Crusher quietly observed the ruined landscape of ancient Los Angeles. Even after 300 years the affect of the nuclear strike that started the third "world war" on earth it had not been fully excavated. Starfleet and federation ideals demanded that each body found deserved a proper burial. Surveying the devastation of the late 20th and early 21st century metropolis made todays ethics lesson truly hit home for him.

"Power and authority must be handled with the utmost care and responsibility." is what his professor told him.

Turning he set his gaze upon the three people who made the journey to accompany and guide him through this lesson. Captain Jean-Luc Picard, his mentor and sponsor gazed upon him proudly seeing that this lesson was being taken to heart. Crusher would make a fine officer one day he concluded. On the captain's right was Lt. Cmdr. Geordi La Forge. Though he could not actually see, he could feel and imagine the landscape. On the captain's left left was his mother, Dr. Beverly Crusher who had raised him alone from an early age since the death of his father. It wasn't until her posting on the _Enterprise_ that the other two became definitive roll models for his development.

Wesley moved to close the distance to embrace his mother. He was three steps from her when is foot caught something. Something old, hard, and unmoving. After a display of impressive accidental acrobatics that only a young, prideful man is capable of, the three visitors rushed to the aid of the fallen youth. The captain had a look of concern but after realizing that the boy only had his pride hurt allowed himself an inward smile. Geordi did not bother to hid his smile and smirked openly. Dr. Crusher of course fussed over him as only a mother is capable.

"Are you alright?" she asked with her medical tricorder already out and taking readings on his ankle.

"I'm fine, what tripped me?"

The four then gazed at the offending object and noticed a small rust covered latch handle. Picard, ever the archaeologist and explorer could not resist.

"Geordi" stated the captain.

"Its obviously an entrance to an underground tunnel. Do you think we should open it and take a look?" he asked taking out his own tricorder.

"I believe we should since we discovered this. Would you like to come along Wesley?"

The doctor gave Picard a dirty look that only she could get away with and Wesley quickly stood up and answered "Yes, Sir."

The Captain and Georgi used MK 1 Phasers to cut through the surrounding landscape and to unlock the latch. Opening the hatch the four were greeted by a wave of stagnant air but Beverly confirmed that it was safe to breath. As they descended into the tunnel the four activated their search lamps. As they passed several chambers Picard took up the lead with a small but obvious smile on his face. Beverly could not remember seeing him so happy as she attempted to scan for life signs. Geordi scanned the tunnels for, well, anything and Wesley used his tricorder to map the explored areas of the tunnel system. Beverly found only decaying remains of people, rodents and dogs long since dead. Geordi's tricorder beeped slightly more as he made his first discovery.

"Captain, I believe this is a combination of primitive projectile fire as well as high yield plasma fire" He said examining a wall with numerous bullet holes and plasma scorch marks.

"I'm also detecting trace amounts of blood still in decay. Odd-" started Beverly

"What is it doctor"

"Well some of this blood does appear to be synthetic"

"It is likely a conventional battle took place here during the chaos after the nuclear strike" Wesley added his input.

They decided to continue on until they came to a large chamber. Looking around all for noticed a very large, heavy and secure door. Geordi's tricorder started beeping like crazy.

"Captain, I'm piking up several power sources. One appears to be nuclear but on a stand by mode if you will. I'm not detecting any radiation however. The nuclear power source is behind that door.

They moved towards the door and both Beverly and Wesley identified a retinal scanner next to it. Geordi immediately began configuring his tricorder to duplicate a compatible retina to be scanned by the primitive scanner. Picard noted a metal sign on the door reading "Gen. Con-" before the rest was covered with grime and carbon. The all collectively held their breath as the door started to open.

The four gazed into the room seeing it blank with only a desk with a primitive computer on top of it. A cot that served as a bed with the decaying remains of a human male. And a chair in which sat what appeared to be a human teenage girl with her head resting on the man's chest and her arm wrapped possessively around him.

And fifteen seconds after they entered they saw her move. She first turned her head to look upon the intruders and then stood up taking great care not to jostle the remains. An old Colt 1911 in her right had that she did not raise but still took a defensive posture. Her brown eyes glowed an azure blue as she scanned the four humans and commanded in a cold and monotone voice "Identify yourselves."

_This is my first fanfic please tell me what you think. I do have plans to continue this and feedback, input and muses would be appreciated. _


	2. Treachery and Acceptance

_I'm not making any money from this so its pointless to sue me_

Chapter 2. Treachery and Acceptance

_July 4, 2027_

John Connor, the "savior" of mankind, stood upon a ridge overlooking the destroyed Skynet facility in the morning light. He should be feeling a sense of closure and completion right now but he wasn't. Just a few hours before he gave the order to storm the facility with everything he had. Skynet's forces were out maneuvered and the resistance had been able to out-flank the machines. This was supposed to be the final victory against Skynet but John couldn't help but feel that it was not over. Instead of letting itself be destroyed it had planned for this contingency which became apparent as Tech-Com's forces were half way into the base. An intense rumbling signaled the launch of a rocket. Cameron quickly found a computer screen and deduced that Skynet had placed itself within the rocket and launched itself into deep space, of course just before the super AI had set the facility to self destruct. What was left of John' army barely escaped before the explosion.

Holding Cameron's hand John looked over to his new ally, Khan, reported to be a genetically enhanced human from the far east. John didn't like him but he needed allies to make this strike possible and the _Jimmy Carter _incident left him with very few options. John found some humor in that Cam did not like Khan either. He laughed internally whenever he thought of Khan trying to seduce Cameron away from him. Her idea of "No" came in the form of a kick to the groin, a gun to his little head, her hand around his neck, and some very choice four letter words. God he loved that woman.

"It's over General. What do you propose we do now?" stated Khan

"Over. I wish I could believe it was"

"General we have taken the field, what remains of Skynet's forces is now inert and being destroyed, and Skynet itself has fled the planet. Surely it is our time to rule"

"Rule? No. It is first time to rebuild and to try to hold on to what we have won." At Khan's questioning look he continued, "Humanity is now unified, we can't allow ourselves to slip to old and petty hatreds"

Khan smiled and replied, "of course General, but may I first suggest a celebration. Our troops deserve to celebrate our hard fought victory. And if I'm not mistaken today is America's Independence Day. Surely fate was on our side"

Johns only response was a quick nod telling Khan to take care of it then when he turned he whispered to himself "No fate but what we make" Khan heard it while walking away with his enhanced hearing. Smiling he whispered even quieter "Indeed."

At 2100 that evening the party was in full swing. John was seated at the main table with Khan and two of his aides on his right while Cameron, General Baum, and Chaplain Ellison sat on his left. The wine was taken out of storage and Cameron refused to allow John to help with cooking seeing as he acquired his mother's skill and burning the simplest foods. After much dancing, drinking and friendly competition between, well everyone Khan stood up and signaled for the music to stop and everyone to be quiet.

Raising his wine glass he began speaking,"We are here in both celebration and in remembrance. We have achieved a great victory and have liberated humanity from its machine oppressors. We owe everything to General John Connor." He turned to look at John. "General I need to thank you for everything as well as this opportunity". At the end of his final work Khan drew his Chinese made 9mm, pressed it directly to the right side of John's chest and squeezed the trigger. There was a loud cry of pain and anguish as all of Tech-Com looked in shock then the entire party exploded into motion.

Cameron tried to immediately terminate Khan but found herself encumbered by Johns wounded body. She gently laid him on the ground then found herself being grabbed by three sets of strong genetically enhanced arms. Derek found himself grappling with one of the enhanced soldiers. Ellison quickly went to John's side to assess his injuries. The enhanced soldiers attacked the Tech-Com party goers while Khan turned and fled to his awaiting vehicle.

Khan's forces were genetically enhanced and had proven themselves in the final battle against Skynet. The Tech-Com soldiers were simply human but had 16 years since Judgment Day fighting opponents physically superior to themselves. And then there was Cameron. She quickly brought her foot back into an attackers groin then reverse head-butted him knocking him back. She then flung the one on her right into the wall stunning him. Her right fingers went ridged forming a knife hand and she jabbed it into the chest cavity of the soldier on her left. The one on her right then charged her and she brought her palm forward and up, pushing his nose into his brain pan, terminating him. She then whirled around to face the third and grasped his neck with one hand, squeezed, lifted him up then with a look of pure contempt and rage simply snapped his neck. The more experienced Tech-Com soldiers made short work of their counterparts as Derek finished his opponent. With her face blood spattered she gave General Baum one order "GET HIM."

Derek's only response was a quick nod then to rally the remaining Tech-Coms. Cameron picked up John and with Ellison in tow proceeded down into the bunker, screaming for the surgeon the entire way. Once there the doctor ordered everyone out so he could work. Cameron and the Chaplain complied.

Cameron was racked with emotions and doubts and refused to relax while Ellison prayed silently. Cameron finally broke the silence with "Chaplain........James?"

"Yes, Cameron" he replied.

"Is John a good man?" realizing what she really needed to ask she spoke again "will John be accepted into heaven?"

"I don't know. Judgment is reserved for a higher power. All I can say is I believe he is and I believe he will and I shall pray for him"

"Can I pray with you?"

Ellison thought for only a moment "Yes"

While they were praying General Baum came into the room looking very angry and disappointed. Cameron looked up at him expectantly. He knew the unasked question. "I'm sorry. Bastard had a vehicle waiting and escaped to the docks. How is he?"

Cam knew that he had done everything and did not resent him for it. "The surgeon is operating now. He doesn't want anyone inside to interfere."

A solemn look came over Derek and the surgeon exited John's quarters. "It wont be long now" he stated. "I'm sorry there was just too much internal damage, there was nothing I could do. He's asked to see all three of you."

The three of them entered his quarters to find him bandaged and blood still oozing out of his wound. Their mourning glances were cast aside as their general spoke. "Did you catch him?"

"No John" spoke Cameron softly "I'm sorry, we failed you" she said as she sat next to his cot.

Realizing he did not have much time John shook his head and started giving his final orders. "Derek, I want you to take command. Make sure that Khan does not come to rule over humans and destroys everything we fought for. James, go with him and try to ensure God's Kingdom has an opportunity to be made on Earth. Cameron.....Cam, please stay. I want you to _live._ Once humanity pulls its head out of its ass I need you to protect......it and _**live life. Promise me.**_"

"I promise" was her only response as tears started to stream down her face.

He then reached into his left breast pocket to reveal a simple ring made of copper wire and the diamond he had given her so long ago. "I love you. Would you....please become Mrs.......Connor?" he asked with blood coming out of his mouth.

Hesitantly she took the ring with a whispered "yes" and slid it onto her finger. John then looked at Ellison and weakly nodded. James took that as his cue to begin the impromptu ceremony. Derek stayed as a witness, no longer having any objections

Ellison concluded the ceremony with the statement "You may kiss the bride." At that statement Cameron leaned over for what she promised herself would be the last kiss she would ever revive and pressed her lips to John's softly. John breathed his last breath into her lips. When she finally withdrew she scanned his body. Upon confirming her charge, her general, her friend, her lover, and her husband was now dead she could not control her emotions any further laying her head on his chest and wrapping her arm around him. She wailed and sobbed uncontrollably. James Ellison quietly performed the Last Rights and Derek moved around and kissed Johns forehead. He grasped Cameron's shoulder to tell her he we going to perform his nephew's final order.

Derek and James left together to continue the fight against the Eugenics. Not for humanity, not for revenge, and not for justice. But for John.......and Cameron. They continued to lead and fight against Khan until like Skynet, Khan fled into space. They both lived long enough to witness the first warp flight and the Vulcans make first contact. They both died 6 months later. Cameron continued to weep until she entered stand by mode.

Back in the 24th Century

Cameron Connor detected the door being opened and rebooted from standby mode. Immediately she saw the decayed form of her John. Fighting back tears she turned her head to the four intruders. Standing up and drawing her Colt she demanded "_Identify yourselves"_

The four looks surprised that she had spoken but quickly recovered themselves. Her scan indicated that they were not armed but were using some kind of scanning device. The oldest and the one she could tell had authority over the group stepped forward and spoke.

"I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise. I assure you we mean you no harm. We did not expect to find anyone down here. If you could please tell us who you are?"

Cameron holstered her side arm and looked directly at the captain while saying "I am Colonel Cameron Connor, of Tech-Com, personal adjutant and wife to General John Connor. What is the Federation?"

"The United Federation of Planets is a united conglomeration of worlds in one alliance including over 150 worlds spanning over 1000 light years." Cameron processed this information and came to one conclusion. Her John's dream had come true. _"Promise me" _she gazed at John's form then up and whispered at silent "thank you" and let a single tear fall.

Seeing this the four quickly relaxed then Geordi informed his Captain as covertly as possible that the female before them was a cybernetic organism. Picard then asked Cameron, "We have very little information regarding John Connor or how you came to be. Yet we are honored at the discovery of a new life form. If you permit we can go on board the _Enterprise. _I am sure we have much to learn from each other and you can help us write new chapters in our history books."

Cameron responded with, "Oh, thank you for explaining. I do look forward to telling you about my husband John Connor."

_I'm sorry this chapter is longer and doesn't advance much but I believe I needed to explain some things to my fellow trekkies and give Cam proper motivation to be in this story. I am also a big Jameron fan so apologies in advance. Please review._


	3. Choices and Decisions

_I own nothing so don't sue me. You won't get anything anyway_

Chapter 3. Choices and Decisions

On the Enterprise.....

Wesley Crusher remained with his class on Earth as Picard, Beverly, Geordi and Cameron beamed into transporter room 2. It had taken Geordi less than ten minutes to explain the concept of a matter-energy transport device and about forty-five minutes for the Captain and Cameron to agree on what was to happen with John's remains. Captain Picard had explained to Cameron that there was literally no record of John Connor and Cameron was convinced that he was the single most important carbon based life form to have ever existed. It had finally been proposed that Johns remains would remain in stasis until a simple military burial could be arranged. Cameron found this proposal acceptable...........for now.

Cameron decided to set out to confirm that humanity had indeed unified and allied with alien life forms as she agreed to be transported. The moment she rematerialized on the transporter pad she had her first look at a Klingon and immediately cocked her head to the side. The next person she noticed was a tall, beautiful, dark haired woman who did not wear a uniform but a long, form fitting, light blue dress looking on her with kind eyes. Cameron felt a brief sting of jealousy but quickly stamped it down. As they all stepped down from the transporter pad Captain Picard began to make introductions.

"This is my security and tactical officer, Lt. Worf" he said gesturing to the Klingon, "and this is Deanna Troi, our ship's counselor" gesturing to the woman. Worf looked upon her with a guarded expression while Deanna gave her a small smile. "This is Cameron Connor, a cybernetic life form that fought for humanity during the third World War" Worf and Troi were taken aback. That statement made Worf realize that this young looking woman was at least a warrior, and an ancient one at that. She deserved his respect. Deanna was shocked for different reasons. She was expecting someone emotionless and stoic. She was unprepared for the confusion, wonder, curiosity and brief jealousy she felt from Cameron.

"Mr. Worf if you coul-" started Picard.

"Captain, I believe I can escort Cameron to her quarters" interrupted Deanna.

Captain Picard turned to her and nodded. He normally did not like being interrupted but had learned to trust Deanna's judgment, especially in first contact situations. Deanna took the cyborg's hand and began to exit the transporter room. A soft (for him) cough from Worf stopped them. Cameron looked apprehensive as the big Klingon approached them.

"I'm afraid I must ask you to surrender your weapon" he told Cameron

Very reluctantly Cameron removed her Colt, dropped the magazine and cleared the pistol before handing them to him. At that she and Deanna continued into the corridor as everyone else reported to their stations and the Captain retired to his quarters.

Cameron gazed in wonder at the eclectic display that continued to pass through her HUD. Humanoid races passed her constantly wearing different colored uniforms. She determined that the different colors had different meanings. Deanna simply observed Cameron to gage her reactions to what was happening and began to feel overwhelmed by the amount of wonder and curiosity from the cyborg and decided to start a conversation

"How do you like the ship and crew thus far Cameron?"

"It's very......tight. I wish John could have seen this" Cameron said as any doubts she had of what Picard said fading fast.

"Oh?"

"This looks like a dream of his. He always hoped that humanity would be one day united"

"He was special to you wasn't he?"

"Yes" Cameron choked out.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mea-" Deanna started

"No, it's OK," Cameron started to regain control of herself, "He was the first to trust me and look at me unafraid. He..........loved me" Cameron finished as her hand slipped from Deanna's to rub subconsciously on her ring.

Deanna fully caught the meaning of the words and gesture. She knew about the body beamed to sick baby to be put in stasis. He had been her husband and she still loves him. Deanna wrapped her arm around Cameron's shoulders and held her comfortingly until they reached the turbo lift, and later Cameron's new quarters.

The door slid open to Cameron's quarters and after a brief moment of surprise Cameron quickly crossed the room to what drew the most attention. It wasn't the lavish conditions compared to what she was used to. It wasn't the cleanliness of the quarters or even the sheer size. It was the large porthole window. Or more precisely what was outside the window. Earth. Having never seen Earth like this something finally sank into her chip. She was in _**space**_! For the first time. She gazed at the blue oceans, the green land masses, the white wisps of clouds, the thin blue arc of the atmosphere and the stars beyond. She could not help but show a full tooth smile in wonder. She pressed her hand to the window's surface to make sure she wasn't dreaming. For a brief moment she even pressed her face to it then drew back quickly in embarrassment. Cameron observed that her smile was contagious as Counselor Troi seemed to have caught it.

Deanna quickly recovered and asked "Would you like something to eat?" Cameron performed a quick scan of her organic systems and replied with a very quick "Yes." 300 years without nutrients had caused her organic systems to degrade to a point that would kill a human. Deanna walked over to the replicator and showed Cameron how to use it. Cam quickly ordered food in higher quantities than she normally ate so it was about the size of a normal meal. Deanna ordered some food for herself.

"Would you feel comfortable speaking over a meal?"

"I find it acceptable, I do enjoy your company Counselor"

"Please, call me Deanna. I would like for you to be comfortable around me. I promise you confidentiality."

"Oh, thank you for explaining. I assume you wish me to tell me about yourself?"

"Well, anything you feel you can trust us with, and I promise to keep secret what you wish"

Cameron thought for a moment. "No. Everyone here has been so kind to me upon meeting me. Unconditionally even. The Captain said that there is no record of me; of John. They all deserve to know. They _NEED_ to know about John, Sarah, and......me. It is not a pleasant history, I will have to tell you about the war, are you sure you want to hear this?"

"Yes" Deanna said as she steeled herself for the worst.

"Three billion human lives ended April 13, 2011. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war "Judgment Day". They survived only to face a new nightmare, the war against the machines............"

Deanna stood in the sonic shower as the vibrations cleaned her body still considering what Cameron had told her. Skynet, John and Sarah Connor, her own origins, "Judgment Day" all rolled through her mind. If true this knowledge would completely rewrite Earth history. Did she believe her? Yes. Cameron was not lying and she was an eye witness. The more she thought about it the more it made sense. But most shocking of all was that Cameron trusted her with with this and not to keep it secret. She wanted this to be known. Deanna couldn't remember it word for word. She would find a recording of the conversation and play it at the next staff meeting.

After Cameron was finished with her tale she could tell her new friend was awe struck. They made some pleasant conversation until their meal was complete the Deanna showed her how to use the lavatory facilities and the computer for research and entertainment. The sonic shower felt sooooooooo good. Cameron spent the rest of the evening at the computer researching. She read files on the history of the Federation, The Eugenics wars, the final defeat of Khan by Captain Kirk, known alien species and their anatomy (she is a terminator after all), and ships systems that were only unclassified to her. The holodeck seemed interesting. Oddly there was no mention of Skynet. Cameron new 'she' was still out there and would be coming back. It was only a matter of time.

Cameron thought about her options and what to do with her life. She came to one conclusion that would both aid her in her promise and her mission. Certain things would have to happen first however........

The next day, 0900 in the briefing room

Captain Picard sat at the head of the briefing table surrounded by his entire command staff. He listened to briefings and issued orders for every day operation of the _Enterprise_ as well as a few special projects. The last discussion of this meeting was to be in regards to their new visitor.

"I would like to discuss miss Connor," the captain started "Geordi your thoughts?"

"Captain her skeletal structure is like nothing that I've ever seen. She is made of an alloy that combines titanium mixed with a metal called coltan which by 21st century standards was extremely resistant to heat. And unlike Data, her endoskeleton seems to be designed for combat and her outward appearance for infiltration. The amount of "new" parts and damage to old parts indicates that she has been in combat"

"Mr. Data?"

"Sir, from the tricorder readings provided by Geordi, I can deduce that her CPU is an artificially intelligent neural net processor. It is more advanced than my own positronic net. It seems that as part of her infiltration programing she was able to mimic human emotions, however that simulator has been damaged making it autonomous. In affect she now experiences true human emotion and has a constant desire to learn just like a human."

"Beverly?"

"Her organic systems have degraded severely due to lack to nutrition, however, she has remarkable regenerative capability. Judging from the cybernetic interface, she, unlike other cybernetic organisms does not require her organic systems to survive. One odd thing, it does appear that she has a fully functional digestive system as well as a reproductive system."

"Mr. Worf?"

"I have examined the weapon that she had with her when she came on board. It is a primitive projectile weapon with few modifications, nothing remarkable. The ammunition she had however is unusual"

"Explain" commanded Commander Riker.

"They were .45 caliber armor piercing rounds treated with a chemical called termite that adds extreme heat to the armor penetration. The casings were filled with more propellant than what is standard. I believe these rounds were made to destroy other cyborgs like her"

"Well thats odd" stated Picard, "Counselor, do you have anything to add?"

"Yes Captain, last night she and I talked and she surprised me by waving her right to confidentiality and told me about her life. I believe she wanted everyone here to listen to her story. With your permission captain I made a recording."

At the captain's nod she started the playback, "Three billion human lives........"

When the recording ended the entire briefing room was silent. Everyone could barely believe what they had heard. Worf mused if it would be taboo for Klingon operas to be written for humans.

"Counselor, do you believe she was telling the truth?"

"I don't believe it captain, I know it. She was not lying to me the entire time."

"Captain" Riker spoke up, "She was 'born' on federation soil and she is a sentient being. By all rights she is a naturally born citizen of the federation"

Data was the next to speak, "The only way to prove what she says about the war is to remove her CPU and show the Federation Council her eye witness proof of these events. For that we would require her permission."

"It seems then that I need to have a talk with miss Connor then, not only about the events she described but also about her future. Is there anything else?" When no one else spoke up the captain declared "dismissed" Everyone filtered out of the briefing room, the captain and Deanna last.

"Captain, I believe I should go with you, she trusts me"

"I believe you are right." he replied. "Computer, what is the location of Cameron Connor?"

"Cameron Connor is in holodeck 2"

With that they both made their way to holodeck 2. What they saw when they got there surprised them even more. The setting was a hall for practicing ballet. In the center of the room was Cameron, her hair done up and out of the way wearing a black unitard and barefoot. She was dancing to Chopin's _Nocturne._ They watched admiring her grace until the song ended and she completed dancing.

Finally noticing her two visitors Cameron looked surprised. "I'm sorry but I was not left with instruction and this is something that I've enjoyed doing"

The captain replied, "Its quite alright and I must say I'm quite impressed"

"Did you tell them?" Cameron asked Deanna. Deanna nodded.

"What is to happen now?" Cameron inquired.

"With the information you provided on the war, we do believe you however, in order to convince the Council we will need further proof and right now there is only one source from which we can acquire it"

"You mean my chip."

"Yes, however, regardless of the history, by our law you are a born citizen of the Federation with the full rights of a sentient individual. We cannot remove your CPU without your consent or request"

Cameron considered this for a nanosecond. "Then I do wish for my CPU to be extracted for this purpose. The Federation needs to know the truth." Both officers nodded and turned to leave before Cameron stopped them. "Captain, you say I am a citizen and my life is my own and I'm free to make my own choices?"

"Yes that is correct"

"I have given thought to my future and have come to a decision." At this Cameron assumes a rigid position of military attention. "Captain, what would be required of me to attend the Starfleet Academy?"


	4. Goodbyes

_First I'd like to thank everyone who has read the ramblings of my imagination and many thanks to those who have reviewed and supported this idea. I also thank those who have pointed out mistakes I have made in the plot. This has given me a bit of insight as well as an opportunity to explore further the mind of Cameron. "The greatest discoveries are made by accident". Unfortunately I feel this chapter may feel like a "fix it" but hopefully I have made it fit with the plot believably and made it entertaining._

_Please enjoy_

_Again, I receive no monetary compensation for this. Just let my imagination out for a stroll_

Chapter 4. Goodbyes

Deanna had seen this behavior before in humans. Cameron had little to no control over her emotions so it was simply more obvious. Something inside her heart was damaged. She could sense the inner turmoil that raged within her friend. Yes, friend; Cameron was far beyond a purely professional interest now. Her almost immediate request to join Starfleet, her obvious attempts to avoid Cmdr. Data were the more subtle clues. Deanna knew that Cameron's pistol had intense emotional value but she had surrendered it without a word of protest. The captain had granted her an internship as a Midshipman and Cameron, though doing very well so far, acted subservient and withdrawn from the officers and crew. She had even allowed all her memories to be downloaded onto isolinear chips (it took 3 to hold all her memories). Data had discreetly separated and hidden many of the files citing that they were too personal and/or inappropriate for the Federation Council and had even omitted this from the command staff. Cameron had quickly entrusted her very soul to them and though Deanna felt it was well placed she could not help but wonder if the decision had been made too rashly.

Deanna continued her observations at the funeral. The _Enterprise _had been ordered to explore a previously binary star system and Cameron had insisted that John wanted to be buried on Earth. John was laid to rest outside the remains of Los Angeles. There was no honor guard, no prayers, no volleys, no offerings (except for Worf who replicated a bat'leth), not even a eulogy. No one had known John Connor except for Cameron and she could not find the words. She stood silently in her gray midshipman uniform, clutching a folded American flag with her face set expressionless. The _Enterprise_ command staff flanked her on either side. She gazed emotionless at the simple headstone.

Here Lies John Connor

Beloved Son and Husband

16 Dec 1984 – 4 July 2027

Cameron had refused to talk to anybody stating simply, "I'm fine" as they all prepared to transport back to the ship. Just before transport Deanna looked over and saw it. Cameron's left arm twitched. Deanna would definatly have to keep a closer eye on her. She looked ready to explode at a moments notice. Though John had literally been dead for over 300 years, to Cameron he had only died a few days ago.

Upon returning to the ship everyone had assumed their normal duties. Captain Picard had offered Cameron three days off duty to mourn and adjust to her loss which she immediately declined. He then ordered her to man the helm position and she complied.

"Ms. Connor, set a course for the Lebarus system, warp 5"

Cameron quickly entered the necessary information into her console, "Course plotted and laid in, sir"

Picard performed his signature finger point at the view screen, "Make it so"

"Aye, sir" was her reply as she executed his command and gazed at the screen as the ship accelerated to warp.

Two days later Cameron sat in Ten-Forward drinking a cup of coffee and previewing the duties for her to perform for the day. There was only one task, "Assist Lt. Cmdr Data with the realignment of the main sensor array." Data, the machine. Since she had been on board it, _he,_ had tried to make conversation with her on several occasions and she had not so politely refused. She knew that he we just trying to be polite and make her feel welcome. She could not understand where this contempt had come from. He was not a terminator. He showed a strong desire to become more human. Of anyone on the ship she should get along with Data better than anyone logically. Cameron checked the chronometer. She had 15 minutes to meet him so she drained the rest of her coffee, stood up and walked out of Ten-Forward.

She met Data 3 minutes early and they greeted each other before entering the Jefferies tube. The task was menial and time consuming. Data would have completed it in a third of the time but Cameron decided to perform it slower to make sure it was done correctly. She knew he was only there to observe her performance. For two hours there was silence before she finally broke it. "I would like to apologize for my behavior towards you sir. It was unwarranted and I'm not sure why I have been acting this way. I guess I've had a lot on my mind."

"It is quite understandable Cam."

Her left arm twitched. "Why did you call me that?"

"I have observed humans in my efforts to evolve beyond my original programing. I have observed that the use of a nick-name can assist in "burying the hatchet"

"Oh," she paused stewing over his explanation. "thank you for explaining."

"I have found it difficult to notice times that I may have evolved previously. Do you remember the first such experience for you?"

Her arm twitched again. "Yes, it was an explosion that...."_ Sometimes they go bad _"made me do something wrong."

"Would you like to discuss it?"

"No"

"Are you sure? I am programed with various forms of psychology that coul-"

Cameron's arm twitched again that caused a loud snapping sound. She looked at her hand and noticed that she had snapped the tool she was working with in half. Simply dropping it on the floor of the Jefferies tube she looked squarely at Data. He had the grace to appear surprised

"Now I know why. You are emotionless and curious at the same time. You carry out your duties without any desire. You don't live, you _function. _I look at you and see myself so many years ago," her eyes then glowed an intense blue, "and I _**HATE**_ it."

Data's eyebrows shot up and is yellow eyes widened as Cameron turned quickly and scurried out of the Jefferies tube. She had to get away. She needed to feel safe. She was afraid to see anyone. There was only one place she could go.

Deanna entered sick bay and approached Dr. Crusher who looked up and asked "Ah Deanna, what can I do for you?"

"I was hoping you could help me with something. I need to talk with Cameron again and I'd like you to accompany me. She hasn't allowed herself to grieve for her husband and I believe it is tearing her apart. She may find some common ground talking to you"

"I agree, I thought I noticed something while she was helping me in here yesterday but didn't say anything about it. I'm almost finished here, we can go whenever you like.

Troi's com badge chirped "_Data to Counselor Troi"_

"Go ahead Data"

"_Cameron just quickly left here from adjusting the sensor array, I believe she is distraught_."

"Computer, location of Midshipman Connor?"

"Midshipman Connor is in holodeck 2"

"Data, meet us outside holodeck 2, if she's confronted she may harm herself"

"_On my way_"

"Doctor looks like we may be having that conversation now" said Deanna as they both left sick bay for holodeck 2.

The three of them met at the holodeck doors discovering that a program was running that none of them recognized. Nervously they entered to see a ruined urban landscape and a dark sky. It appeared to be the aftermath of a nuclear strike. Three HK patrolled the skies and they saw 2 centaur machines as well as several endos. One of the endos spotted them with glowing red eyes and began firing its plasma rifle. The shots bounced off harmlessly due to the safety protocols still operating.

"Computer, run program in objective mode" yelled Dianna and the metal endo ceased fire and continued on.

Data scanned through the rubble until he found a thermal signature that matched Cameron's. "This way." he called over his shoulder

The three moved as quickly as they could to where Data was moving. They found her finally, huddled under some rubble, tears streaking her face but her face was expressionless and as dirty as her uniform currently was. Deanna sat down next to her and put an arm over her shoulder embracing her while Beverly and Data knelt next to them.

"Your dress is getting dirty" Cameron deadpanned.

"My friend is more important" Deanna replied as sweetly as she could.

"Friend? If you knew what I was and what I've done you wouldn't say that"

"But you have remember? We all know and we all still want to be your friend and help you see?"

"I do understand some of what you are going through Cameron" stated Beverly.

Cameron wiped her face, "You do?"

"I have lost a husband as well"

"How did you stop this pain?" pleaded Cameron

"I had help from my friends, I found new purpose and my son helped."

At that the dam broke. Cameron's eyes widened and teared up more. Her lip began to quiver before she bit it then thrust her arms around Deanna and her face into her bosom. She then cried uncontrollably. Deanna realized finally that there was much more than just the death of John on Cameron's heart and wrapped both arms around her.

"Death, so much death," Cameron began. "I killed so many. I killed Allison. I tried to kill him twice. I let many others die. I couldn't give him children. I lied and told him I was sterile from radiation but I can conceive. Skynet installed a system that would destroy any parasite attacking my organics. I KILLED HIS CHILDREN!!!"

The truth. All three of them understood. By the time she was done explaining she had physically calmed down some. Beverly became misty eyed. Data sat down taking all the information in. Deanna tightened her hold on Cameron and encouraged her to let it all out. And for the first time in existence she did. She could never trouble or hurt John with this knowledge and Sarah was never motherly enough to help in this way. Cameron then grasped Data's hand.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It wasn't you that I hated it was me"

Data replied, "It is fine Cameron, I can not feel as you do yet, but we can all forgive you"

"How?"

"It is what friends do."

Cameron smiled and then exited Deanna's grasp. Standing up she wiped her face again and stood at attention as every one else stood up.

"Commander I believe I should finish assisting with the sensor array now"

"Not so fast Midshipman Connor" proclaimed the doctor. "As Chief Medical Officer I am ordering you on indefinite medical leave under the care of the ships Counselor until such time as she deems you are fit for duty." Cameron opened her mouth to object but Beverly cut her off, "and not even the captain can override this order."

"Thank you for explaining, Computer, end program."

The post Judgment Day world disappeared to reveal the inside of the holodeck as the four of them exited into the corridor.

_Well, I hope y'all liked this chapter and hope it explained some things as well. I feel that Cameron needed to have an emotional breakdown and vent the pain she has been holding in for decades._

_Please review with your opinions "a good story teller gets his best ideas from his audience"_

_I intend to end this tale just as Cam leaves for Starfleet Academy and have several good ideas in which way she will take her career but if any muses have any ideas I will be open minded._

_Again thank you._


	5. Rebirth

Author's Notes: _First I need to thank all those who reviewed and provided insight, ideas and criticism. Jameron4eva, your Cameron like fanaticism is much appreciated. Your ideas about Skynet being a 'she' are very good but I have my own ideas._

_For TK-MR and any others who have questions on the Automatic Sterilization System, or ASS, I have incorporated it for two purposes – one is I believe that Skynet is a __**cruel bitch**__ with a serious phobia of humans and would not want any more "vermin" on her world. She even had plans to eradicate the grays. Two is it would help with infiltration protocols. Her identity would be compromised during the process of giving birth and I ask what would be the typical reaction of finding out a woman had a miscarriage. Enough said._

_And now we continue with our normally scheduled program._

_The toys belong to Paramount, WB, and Fox. I just get to play with them._

Chapter 5. Rebirth

Six months after her breakdown Cameron sat in Ten-Forward locked in an epic battle of machine versus machine. She was playing three dimensional chess with Lt. Cmdr. Data while the ship waited for its rendezvous with the _U.S.S. Cortez._ It was to be transporting her back to Earth to attend Starfleet Academy. In front of a small crowd that had gathered Data quickly moved his piece across the board and quietly declared "Check-Mate". Cameron's only response was to lay her king down and pout.

"A good and challenging game" Data started "However I find it odd that someone with your experience and capability with strategy and war would not defeat me more consistently"

"War and Chess are not the same, sir" Cameron decided to reference a page from Sarah's journal. "In both you must be patient, cunning and willing to sacrifice. However in war, unlike chess, the battlefield can shift, truces can be called, alliances can be made. In war, there is.......hope"

"I see, thank you for explaining"

"Did you just tease me sir?"

"Yes, I did" confirmed Data. Cameron tried to look offended but was betrayed by the corners of her mouth curling upward. The entire audience erupted in laughter.

Data began resetting the board when Cameron's com badge chirped, "Captain Picard to Midshipman Connor"

"Connor here captain"

"The _Cortez _shall be here in one hour, please meet me in transporter room 1 in one hour 30 minutes"

"Yes captain"

With farewells to everyone Cameron left the room and headed to her quarters. She quickly took inventory of her possessions. She did not have much: three sets of civilian clothing, two dancers outfits, three isolinear chips containing music, reading, and video files, a padd containing her orders and acceptance letter, her old pistol belt and holster, and finally John's flag. Holding the last item Cameron was hit by a wave of nostalgia.

She had spent 23 days on medical leave after her emotional breakdown in which she had spent much of her time with Deanna Troi. Deanna, she had opened her eyes to so many things. Now that she had no emotional inhibitions she needed to decide her own life. She briefly considered withdrawing her application to Starfleet but one adventure later, involving a "Dyson's Sphere" had confirmed that she needed to be in Starfleet. She brought up a memory file and smiled. It was of the Captain chastising her for her "hot shot" maneuver at the helm that helped them escape the sphere. Both Picard and Cameron had tried to hide their smiles, Cameron did a better job.

Her thoughts drifted back to Deanna. She had taken Cameron under her wing without even knowing her. Yes it was her job, her duty but Cameron could not help but wonder if it was something else. After all it was only her mission to protect John Connor and she ended up falling in love and marrying him. She was sure that she would always love him and doubted that she would be with another man again. Deanna had however convinced her that she needed to involve more people in her life and socialize. Human bonding was more complicated than the LCARS computer interface she determined. Just then her door chimed and she responded with "Enter".

Deanna Troi entered Cameron's quarters with an honest smile which was returned and a padd in her hand. "I thought you would like some company on your way to the transporter." Cameron noded and smiled as she slung her bag over her shoulder and picked up the pad. They both walked to the nearest turbo lift side by side making sure to gossip. Deanna made sure to fuss about Cameron's appearance and made sure she had everything. Cameron confirmed everything except for her Colt. She had made Worf give his word of honor that it would be returned upon her graduation. Exiting the turbo lift they both began walking towards the transporter room. About 50 meters from the door they both stopped.

"Cam-" Dea-" they both said at the same time. The both blushed lightly and Deanna motioned for Cameron to go first.

Cameron quickly recovered and started "Deanna, you've helped me so much for nothing in return. You helped me get my life back in order. Only one other person have ever done that in my existence. I realize that it is your duty and it is what you do but I've felt something. I do not have much experience with empathy and I hope that I do not frighten or offend you but....."she paused looking at the ground then steeling the heart she had found again she looked directly into Deanna's eyes with her plea, "I've never had a mother. You have been more of one than anyone I've known. I was hoping that.......you could let me love you as my mother and, I pray you live for this, you learn to love me as your daughter" she finished with mist in her eyes for the first time in months.

Deanna, usually very eloquent, could only reply "Cam, its to late for that." She handed over the padd she was holding and Cameron quickly scanned it. _Official Request for Adoption_. Was the heading. All entries were filled already and all it required was Cameron's thumb print which she immediately provided. Smiling Cameron hugged Deanna.

Deanna ended the embrace much sooner than either would have liked and stated "Come on, you don't want to be late" as they both continued towards the transporter room.

They both entered and Cameron was surprised at the sight. Captain Picard and his entire senior staff was lined up before the transporter pad. Her mentors, her friends she realized wished to see her off. She separated from Deanna to walk to the far side of the room to begin her farewells to everyone.

She approached Worf and offered her hand. He grasped her forearm just below the elbow and she did the same. He simply stated "Quap'la" which was steadfastly returned. She then shook La Forge's, Crusher's, and Riker's hands in turn each offering their well wishes and good lucks. She then approached the Data and shook his hand.

"I would like to thank you for helping me become more human" stated the android

Cameron regarded him, "No, thank you for helping me become more human" With a smile that Data imitated she approached the captain and stood at attention.

"I'm ready captain, your chair is not safe" Cameron said with a grin.

Picard returned the smile, "Make it so, _Cadet"_ Her change in status was not unseen.

Cameron then approached Deanna. Forgoing the handshake she pulled Cameron into a hug. "You be sure to write to me every week at least"

"Every day, you will get tired of me"

"There is a 0.0% probability of that happening little one" finished Deanna

They both shared a last giggle and hug then Cameron approached the transporter pad. Riker gave Deanna a look with a raised eyebrow while Deanna simply smiled at him and winked. Cameron turned to face her friends both sad to leave them but believing she would see them again soon. "Permission to disembark, Captain" she asked.

"Permission granted. Energize"

Cameron then dematerialized as she was beamed to the _Cortez._ The captain and staff shared a moment of silence and though they we not overly spiritual they silently sent a prayer for her good fortune. The room then emptied and Deanna walked with the captain needing to submit her request through him. Cameron began her own journey into a new world to live up to her husband's words. _"There is no fate but what we make."_

_Well I've decided to conclude this story here considering the climax of last chapter. I have at least 2 sequels planned. "Where no Terminator" will tell of Cam's experience at the Academy and "Has Gone Before" what be a very long project beginning with her first assignment. I intend Cam to have varying rolls in upcoming significant events for the federation including but not limited to the events of Generations, the Borg invasion of sector 001, the conflict with the klingons on DS9, the Dominion war, the return of Voyager, and the events of Nemesis. And don't forget Skynet is still out there. I think even people who do not watch Star Trek would like to see Cam in the captain's chair. _

_Before anyone flames, the ST:TNG episode that Troi has a child is one of the most gut wrenching for me to watch. I always feel bad for her on that one. I felt she deserved this and in this alternate universe I am Q and I made it so._

_Please submit reviews via the green button thank you._


End file.
